Purposeful Ponderings- Friendship

 

Today I'm launching another new series here! I must still have that teacher brain where my creativity and new ideas are just flowing during this time of year.

This post, and if I continue with this series, will highlight things that have been on my heart or mind, things that have been shared with me at church, or things I come across through my reading or Bible Studies...things worth mentioning, things worth reflecting on, things worth being intentional about.

The intention is that they will inspire me (and maybe you?) to be more intentional and purposeful with areas that will only improve our own lives. I'm definitely NOT an expert, but they're ideas and topics that I will be focusing on in my own life...and that I think might be fun or interesting to share with you too! As I write through them, I'm remembering them and processing them for myself. I'm a writer, I'm a reader...this is what I do.

I'll try to write them in bulleted-lists so they're clear but also can quickly be read. Deal?

Topic: Friendship. 

Friendship has been on my heart lately. It's been on my heart as I seem to be getting closer with my longtime childhood friends despite the distance yet again, it's been on my heart as I'm going to start joining church groups, gym, etc. to hopefully make some good friends here. It's been on my heart as I recognized within the past few years (as I make friends only to move away to make new friends…) that it's an area of my life where I need to be more intentional with.

• Expect people to be people. We live in a fallen and broken world, and expect others to see you and give you grace as a broken and fallen person too. (From a recent sermon at our church here in VA)

• Trust that everyone is doing the best they can, in their own way. Assume the best about people.

• Love languages- people give and receive friendship in different ways, just like you and your husband do in your marriage. 

Some books I plan to read on friendship (both that I have saved on my Kindle from awhile ago!):

• Nobody's Cuter Than You by Melanie Shankle (I've loved her others)
• Giddy Up Eunice: Because Women Need Each Other by Sophie Hudson

A book that I've read already and that goes along with this topic. I can NOT recommend this one enough!!

• Find Your People by Jennie Allen

Just SOME of the amazing quotes from the book I just listed above- Find Your People by Jennie Allen

• "We invest only sporadic time with acquaintance and then we expect close friends to somehow appear in our busy lives. We think our acquaintance should just magically produce 2-5 BFFs."

• "We're all just kind of waiting for connection to find us- we're waiting for someone else to initiate- someone else to be there for us. Someone else to make plans or to ask the perfectly crafted question that helps us bare our souls."

• "We can handle a network of only about 150 people. Think about your Christmas list, people you talk to once or twice a year. We can handle 50 people in acquaintances, 15 people in your village, 5 BFFs (the ones keeping tabs on your day by day and knowing the state of your heart). In those BFFs, look for availability, humility, transparency."

• "We wait for those perfect few friends to come along and then we look them for them to play so many roles in our lives. We look for them to be everything to us. What if the power of a little team of friends is that each one brings different things to your life?"

• "If I didn't appreciate the unique roles my friends play in my life, I might be mad that my "challenger" friend doesn't encourage me or my "wise" friend isn't fun all the time. In each of my friends, there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out."

• "If I start to see that God has put different people in my life to bless me in different ways, then I can both embrace who they are and rest in what I bring to those relationships."

• "Most of our other problems aren't with other people. It's with us. We must become the people we want in our lives."

• "We go through life barely noticing the people God has put right in our paths, insisting that we're all alone in the world, that nobody cares, and that we're doing just fine on our own."

Just some thoughts for your Wednesday! What are your thoughts on these ponderings? I'm so grateful for such an incredible supportive group of friends- those that have been with me since childhood, high school, college, and post- college. Love you guys!